Chapter 1: Body Image, Self Esteem, Sex & Society Exclusion of Plus Size Population (18+)

DOVE "Love Your Body Campaign"-> Doing it RIGHT

In all honesty, I never was planning to discuss this. However, do to circumstances and after talking with a few people and hearing certain discussions, I realized I need to get this off my chest cause it truthfully irritates me and at one point in time, I thought my way of thinking was considered "old fashion" or "wrong" in this year and age. So lets get into details (those who may think I'm referring to them in this post due to recent interaction can either take this as an eye opening of how others in "MY" position perceive such comments, or be mature about it...)

With ANY individual, male or female, Body image is a vital asset in our human nature and being as we mature and age. Such "image" is what shapes our personality, allows us either to grow and mature, or hide within ourselves, concealing the individuals and personalities we wish to project and expose to the world, to be embrace in a positive "open arm" manner. However, that for some people is merely a figment of imagination or "wishy" thinking as we slowly reach 2015.

As I've stated before in my previous blog. Ive been big all my life. Sure, I was in the norms when I was a kid to elementary but as you grow and puberty hits you in the face around 11-12, your body begins to grow and age, while your imperfections will begin to emerge and if you have the capabilities or confidence to change them you will, ONLY if YOU the individual truly want to change. Sure, I had been bullied, I wanted to change myself plenty of times, but was it really for ME or society?

Victoria Secret Model-> "Love your Body Campaign..."

This is a perfect example. Victoria Secret is one of the largest lingerie retailers in America. THIS is the ideal body image. Ive went into Victoria secret plenty of times. However, have I ever found anything really for "my" size... Nope

Many people have discussed whether this is healthy for the population especially teenagers to view and be inspired by? I agree, with such publicity and "unintentional" encouragement of how a female should be viewed and should present themselves in society is to be questioned. What's the primary concern? Is this body image what men want their women, their girlfriends, wives and daughters to be viewed as or is this new way of being considered "healthy". Here is a good example of what I believe is "sexy" or "healthy"

Jennifer Lawrence at a Size 6, 130lbs

Jennifer Lawrence has always been criticized for her weight. She is known as "obese in hollywood". She is a "fit" individual, who works out (If your in Hunger games....well the odds are defiantly in her favour cause she KNOWS how to run) eats whatever she wants (she LOVES food) and is a surprising size 6. She has curves, nice set of thighs, and is very happy with her weight. As she states

"I'm never going to starve myself for a part...I don't want little girls to be like 'OH, I want to look like Katniss, so I'm going to skip dinner'. Thats something i was really conscious of during training, when your trying to get your body to look exactly right. I was trying to get my body to look FIT and STRONG, not thin and underfed"- Jennifer L

This is one reason why so many individuals love and support Jennifer, I included. She has been criticized so many times for her weight, but she has defended her body image, again and again, and is still trying to show that having a few curves IS sexy and not just ugly or not fit for society.

Now, why am I writing this section as my first Chapter with no intention of doing so before?

I chill with a lot of people, boys, girls, men, women, and Im very open minded. My way of thinking is that everyone is beautiful. Whether with makeup or without, being skinny or being curvy, even if your obese you still have qualities that make you different and unique and will attract people. Everyone has a essence of themselves that will project to another individual and produce a positive reaction. No one can be denied love just because of body image. However, certain people aren't on the open minded train.

Beyonce -> Curves, Hourglass Shape at a Size 8, 135lbs

Apparently, to be viewed as an individual or basically be "sexy, attractive, hot or mature" in many individuals frame of reference, you must be skinny, have a sexy appearance, be given a more natural beauty, and look "well taken care of". Of course that is to be considered a OPTION, or candidate for further investigation and interaction. One must not only possess the figure with assets including a nice pair of boobs (can be big or small) and the tight "I do squats" ass, but must be open to many pleasurable activities and interactions with the opposite or same sex. To be reviewed and critiqued is categorized as Base 1 and to be considered for Base 2 is followed by interaction or what I call the "Survey" phase. Stage 2 than gives you the confirmation that you are indeed, a potential candidate and thus you should be proud you fit the category of "sexy". Now your asked a series of questions which will determine IF you are eligible to be considered a "friend" or "friend with benefit". With such interaction, do not consider yourself being a potential for a "relationship" since thats not the point of most interactions with individuals with such view points. Its either a Win-Lose or Win-Win situation. Finally, Base 3, which is the "Hit, Miss or Dump" phase. This is the final stage where you either Hit (have sex, get into a relationship), Miss (Deny sex or want more than friends with benefits) or Dump (you couldn't meet A/B requirements thus your useless to this society). THIS is what pissed me off.

Ive heard about this type of "view" point numerous of times in the last 3 months and now hearing it yet AGAIN, just made me snap. This is how society views people? I have been in ONE relationship. Why? Because of people like this! I dated a guy who didn't have the looks (as I stated it didn't matter to me since I cant put myself in the Im fuckin Gorgeous category just yet) but all he wanted was Sex. Not me for my looks, personality, nothing like that. JUST FOR SEX. Of course, I wouldn't lower myself to being used and dumped and I stand by that view point even today. What benefit would that give me? This goes the same with now. To think people, even as we approach 2015, ONLY care about body image and sex? People will leave their families or loved ones to obtain this unachievable item called "Freedom" so they can Bang anyone they want without having to be responsible or feel regret of using yet another person. Also to think, males and female lower themselves to such behaviour? As some people like to refer the people they "fucked" as...

"They're just past girls you know? Nothing special"

Sorry, but even Christian Grey from Fifty Shades manned up and settled down with ONE girl -3-

After reviewing such circumstances over the last couple of weeks, I debated in my mind whether to write this. People will either look at their own circumstances and review this negatively, back lashing at me or what not, or they will actually review this and see how people in my circumstance feel. After a conversation with someone, I honestly thought "wow...I'm not good enough for society. Im a plus size individual who of course is losing weight not ONLY to look good but to be HEALTHY for myself and future self, who wants to be surrounded by people who respect women and themselves, and I want to meet a man who wants me not for JUST sex but the real ME! My personality, my looks, my strengths and weakness, my imperfections, my purity, and my success". I want to surround myself with people who want to reach success through interactions, communication, goal setting, dreams and encouragement to reach out and live life. Is that really bad to want in this time and age?

Sure, Sex is inevitable thing. Its going to happen regardless. However, I guess no one wants to wait for that right person, or to share that experience with someone who accepts you whole heartedly as a person, a human, a contribution to this world functions and growth. Regardless whether that is your soul mate, or eventually if things don't work out between one another, I want to share such intimacy with someone who acknowledges me whole heartedly.

Overall, this is a Chapter for me to realize my potential and how to increase my self esteem. Im a plus size lady, too bad so sad. But my true pet peeve is when people rub in my imperfection and how I don't fit into society classic "skinny" category thus making me unattractive, unloveable, or unworthy of sexual pleasures or interactions. By rubbing it in, I mean comparing you (UNINTENTIONALLY, of course) to others around you, pointing out their good qualities and how they can attract anyone, leaving you out of the equation since your not good enough to be mentioned. I want people to realize the mature individuals are those who don't care of such things. Who are focusing on better aspects in life as a career, finance, saving money for a family, a future, vacations and travelling, learning and discovering new things and way of life, and embracing love and sex as a part of growth in one self and their partner.

This is my little rant of the night. Defiantly a unexpected long post but I finally got it off my chest. As I stated in the begin, Im not trying to offend anyone, however, I believe more than just myself feels this way regardless of you being big or small. Thanks for reading <3

*Special thanks to Lina and Jenny for listening to my excessive rants and motivating me to love myself xoxoxoxox

Yumoyori <3~